


If You Want Love

by aeternus



Category: 13 Reasons Why (TV)
Genre: Bad Flirting, Bad Puns, Fluff, M/M, Neck Kissing, Sexual Tension, Walks On The Beach, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 21:54:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14839850
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aeternus/pseuds/aeternus
Summary: Zach and Alex have been together for a while, but they've never left the town on their own before.  It's time for a change, so they go to the beach for the first time.Burnt skin, walks on the beach and confessions ensue. Oh, and a little love.





	If You Want Love

**Author's Note:**

> title inspired after nf - if you want love (please go listen to this, thank you)
> 
> did i spend my free time writing this with vintage music playing in the background instead of working for school? yes. do i regret it? hell, no.
> 
> let's not spoil anything and hope you enjoy!

__

_“The best relationship is when you can act like lovers and best friends at the same time”_

“Have you got some music? It’s too quiet,” Alex complains, the wind disheveling his golden, with auburn traces, hair. Zach takes a moment (just a few seconds) to admire his beauty, the way his cerulean eyes match perfectly with the blue sky, the warmth and sweat and something so very Alex he wants to pull over and kiss him until they’re both out of air.

“I do, actually. Look into the glove box. Tony said he’d left us a vintage tape.” Zach barely averts his eyes from the road, but he still catches an ounce of chapped lips and long fingers searching for what he’s told.

He needs to calm down and do it soon, or he’ll be more burnt than his engine after such a hot summer. Although it’s inhumanly warm outside, people still go to the beach. He’s a little nervous, he has to admit. It’s the first time they travel as a couple. Sure, they’ve done this before as friends. Back then, falling asleep on Zach’s chest, fighting and sharing drinks came naturally.

Now though, they have to get used to it; kissing in public is not as meaningless as some make it seem. 

“ ‘Rock this Town’,” Alex says, smiling brightly and lowering his sunglasses over his eyes, welcoming the light, the air messing with their hair and clothes. “These are some very good tastes.” He’s drumming his fingers on knees, mouthing lyrics. 

“Looking good, Standall,” Zach tells him, chuckling. “Got any more talents I should know about?” 

He’s pleased the road is half empty; he can drive how he wants and they might even get in time to the hotel, eat something and visit the beach for a few hours. Tomorrow they’ll be staying out all day anyway. Maybe they should be familiar with the area. The Santa Rosa beach isn’t far away from their little town. 

Zach’s never been more grateful for Justin’s crazy ideas. It’s been a dare. _“I bet you can’t, Dempsey. I bet you can’t leave with him.”_ The thing is, Justin underestimates the number of things Zach is willing to compromise for Alex.

“ ‘Let the Good Times Roll’. Fuck yes, I love this one,” Alex mutters, the music so loud Zach barely hears him. 

But it’s enough to steal a glance at his smile, at the white shirt he’s smudged with ketchup from the fries they’ve eaten an hour ago. It’s enough to see him still singing over the song to smile too and press the pedal harder, to accelerate in the evening sun.

*

“No, listen to me. I’ve booked a room for two, with two separate beds,” Zach explains, nervous and beginning to feel the anger reverse into his chest, into his veins. 

The receptionist in front of him smiles mendaciously. Her words are acrid and come disguised in fake concern, “I understand this, sir, but I’ve already told you the exact reason we’ve reassigned you a room. It’s still for two; It just has one king sized bed.”

Maria. That’s her name, written in gold on the plate on her chest. She’s confident and doesn’t falter easily. Perhaps that’s why Zach feels as if he’d lost the fight until it even began.

He sighs, rakes his hand through his hair – a habit he’s never been able to get rid of – and looks back at Alex, staying alone on a cushion, with his legs relaxed and staring around. When their eyes meet, Alex raises his eyebrows as if asking what’s wrong and Zach shrugs. He doesn’t want to make Alex bother for stupid things.

“Give me the key.” He bites his lip, glances at the clock on the wall. His shoulders are so stiff he barely can relax his muscles. He has to let the bundle of worries and exhaustion and nerves unclench. 

“Enjoy your time during your sojourner.” She places two keys on the counter. “Please try to be civil and not disturb other travelers. Every time you leave, let the key to me and get it back when you return.” It sounds as if she’s quoting from a long paragraph she needed to learn, no emotion visible in her tone.

Zach just nods and returns to his boyfriend. His boyfriend. Goddammit, this sounds so good. He needs to use the words more, accommodate to the way his mind enjoys the title like it’s something well earned. And maybe it is.

“What? Was there a problem?” Alex asks, struggling a little to lift himself, although he’s much, much better than he was months back. He doesn’t need the cane anymore, but he has moments when his body gets tired suddenly.

Zach grabs both their rucksacks and shakes his head. “Something with the room. Nothing important, though. It’s fine,” he says and drapes his hand over Alex’s smaller shoulders, feeling heat through the material and having an urge to press even more against him. “Hope you don’t mind sharing a bed with me.” He’s laughing, but in truth, he’s a little, just a tad bit, afraid that Alex will mind it.

“It’s fine.” And Alex means this, it truly is. He enjoys falling asleep with Zach. “Plus, you’re the most annoying hugger ever. Why would anyone want to miss this?” Alex leans more towards his strong body. Zach’s cuddles are the best, but he doesn’t need to know this.

“But you love me anyway.” Before he can know, he’s said this. It’s like he dropped a bomb between them. All it’s left is to wait for the explosion. “I – I didn’t… I didn’t mean it to sound like that.”

“I get it. You’d better take a shower. You stink.”

And just like that, the subject is left to sink. Though, it’s not forgotten.

*

“All right, look. I get the part to the door and you get the one to the window. Is it right?” Zach tries for the umpteenth time, seeing as Alex is still unsatisfied by their rather spacious room. It’s facing the calm sea. It’s bathed in sunset light and it’s spacy.

“You don’t get it. That’s not the problem.” Alex arranges and rearranges the pillows. 

“Then what is the problem? You’re overthinking it,” Zach says, laughs and plops himself onto the mattress. It’s comfy, big enough so that his feet aren’t falling over the edge. “Oh, shit.”

“What is it?” Alex asks, huffing and sitting on his part too. His legs are visibly shorter. He’ll certainly never have a problem with hotel beds and blankets or chairs. 

“I forgot something.”

“Huh? I told you your head’s in the clouds,” Alex feels the need to return. “What did you forget?”

“This,” Zach says, moves as fast as he can and kisses Alex chastely on the right corner of his mouth, feeling part of his lips and smooth skin. It’s addicting and he can’t help but lick his bottom lip, hungry for more. 

Alex playfully kicks him and, cupping his face, kisses him deeper, with more meaning. Zach indulges the contact for as long as Alex wants it to last. He’s a thirsty man and the affection his boyfriend is showing him at the moment is more than enough to satiate him for a while.

“You’re a dork, Dempsey,” Alex says, but his voice is light, cheeks burning under Zach’s fingers. He traces his jaw with feather touches, bites his nose, kisses him again and again.

“True. But I’m your dork.”

*

“Is this supposed to be fruit jam?” Alex asks, holding a spoonful of something light colored with specs that are supposed to be strawberries. “If mom ever finds out I swallowed this thing, she’s going to kill me.” He takes a tentative bite of toasted bread with butter and jam on top.

“If you’d like to swallow something else, I happen to have some ideas,” Zach innocently says, munching on his scrambled eggs with cheese and dill. Alex hits him in the arm as hard as he can and he fakes being hurt. “I was talking about that yogurt.”

“Of course you were,” Alex says, legs crossed and arms resting on his knees. They are eating in bed. Food’s all around them, someone is ranting about news on the TV. They swim in light. It’s already warm and it’s just morning. “What are you doing? You haven’t even eaten all.

Zach finishes his last bite and gets rid of his shirt, then toys with the shorts’ band. “I’m going to take a shower.” He smiles at Alex, then goes into the bathroom. 

He doesn’t bother closing the door or being embarrassed about changing in front of Alex. After all, they’ve seen each other partially naked every time at PT and, honestly, he wouldn’t mind Alex joining him. He knows it won’t happen at the moment, but it’s nice to think about what he’d do if it would.

“Clay gave us sun protection cream,” Alex shouts and Zach grunts. “I guess I’ll be the only one needing this.”

“Clay should be called the best Dad of the year, really. But you’re right. It’s mostly for you. Besides, I’ll enjoy putting that over your body.” Zach is gazing at Alex, how he chokes a little with the nibble. He smiles and changes the water’s temperature.

“Fuck you, Dempsey.”

*

As it turns out, the beach is almost full. Families, friends, couples – they all enjoy the weather and clean water of the sea in which way they can. Zach has already saved two girls from drowning because they were left unsupervised by their parents and got too far away from the shore. As beautiful and relaxing and friendly the sea water is, it’s also quite dangerous.

Alex has been sitting mostly on the shore, feet deep in the sand, turning around occasionally and putting his arm over his eyes to block the light. His whole body is drenched in cream (Zach has applied every inch of it), but he still looks like he’s burning alive, with such a light skin. 

“You’re getting burnt,” Zach voices what they both know. “Come into the water.” He’s sitting right next to him at the moment and touching his arm, running his wet palm over it. His assumptions are on point. “Alex, do you want to be able to walk tomorrow? If you continue like this, you won’t.”

“I hate the beach, you know. Always too hot.” Alex sighs, risking a look at Zach. His cheeks look like they’re on fire. Zach lowers his head and kisses them both. 

“But maybe you’d feel better actually testing the water than wasting time in the sand,” Zach ironically says, letting his fingers play with Alex’s hair, not nearly as messy as his. 

“I’m not in the sand, practically. I just… I hate the beach,” he admits, swallowing the knot that got stuck in his throat and risking a tentative glance at Zach. “What’s with that face?”

“What face?” Zach asks, but he’s frowning, sighing.

“That sad face you’re making right now, Zach. I just want you to feel good.” Alex’s voice is small, so quiet compared to the waves and the laughter around them. He’s so close to Zach that all he has to do is pull him closer by an inch and they are chest to chest. 

“You should’ve told me, you know. That you hate going to the beach. Damn, I would have gladly lost that damn bet if it meant pleasing you.” 

“Let me get this straight: you came because you wanted us to have a good time,” Alex begins, a small smile forming on his face – one that Zach would take into his hands and let it compete with the sun itself. “I came because I wanted you to be happy. Well, that sucks. All because of Justin.” 

Zach laughs, tracing his fingers over his boyfriend’s stomach, down to his navel and kissing his neck gently. Alex sighs, relaxed, and moves his head to the side. “What if people stare at us, Dempsey?”

“Let them stare. You’re so beautiful.” Zach places his hands over Alex’s wrists and whispers to him, “Come with me, please.”

Alex takes a brief look at Zach’s crimson cheeks, his reddened lips, then his body and mutters, “Fuck it. What wouldn’t I do for you?”

Zach smiles, lifts him up to which Alex indulges more than the usual, gravitating towards safety and familiarity. At first, the water makes him shiver. He’s gone in too quickly, but Zach makes sure to stay with him as much as possible, until he sees him prepared.

“Hey, Standall,” Zach shouts, playing with a huge, rainbow colored ball. “Do you think you’re good on your own?”

“Oh, I don’t know. Come and see yourself,” he answers, struggling a little to stay on the surface. Zach, being taller, has almost no problem in doing so. “It’s not fair that you’re a giant.”

“Am I?” He playfully splashes Alex with water, goes near him. “I must be one of a kind, actually. You know, to have made you swim in the sea.” He’s mimicking a clueless boy, he’s aware of it and of the effect it has on Alex – of the way his eyes melt and he lowers his gaze, chuckles lightly.

“Give a Nobel to this man,” Alex jokes, startled to see Zach is nowhere to be found and, for a moment, he’s frozen. Then he realizes that he’s underwater, grabbing his ankle and dragging him down.

As if it weren’t enough, Zach uses the momentum in his advantage and laces his arms around Alex’s middle, bringing them both to the surface and staying pressed to his back, warm and cold at the same time. Alex blames his dazed mind for not registering feelings as it should. 

“I’d rather get something else from you,” Zach says in his ear and Alex clenches his palm over Zach’s hand, swallows again. “A kiss, for example.” And just like that, he’s back to innocent.

Alex turns his head to the left and parts his lips, an invite. Zach is drawn closer to him, the capitulation. They meet, a chain of wet to chapped, experienced to less experienced. Zach tightens his hold; having something so fragile in his hands is wonderful. He knows Alex would kill him for ever thinking of him as breakable.

“Why are you laughing?” Alex asks, desperate, shoving Zach.

“I’m an idiot,” Zach confesses, wipes the smirk with his thumb (he’s aware Alex follows the movement). “Every time we touch, I want more.” It’s not the best time for such an unearthing, but the hotel’s peacefulness isn’t either, not the school grounds, not the nights spent on the roof. It just feels right. 

“So come and get it.”

*

They are walking. Feet bare, sinking slowly in the hot sand with every step; their skin burnt (Alex’s is, actually. Zach looks like he belongs here, in the unforgiving heat and under the merciless sun). Alex can barely move, too exhausted and fried under the summer sun. But he wants to do this with Zach. He wants them to be together for once without him needing a cane, without Zach crying on his shoulders.

Without trials and lies and assholes who think they can rule the world with their power. It’s just them, painted in dusk light, hues of orange and deep red enveloping the sky.

“You’re gloomy,” Zach comments, easing his steps to match Alex’s. He’s looking at his boyfriend instead of the scenery. The sea is a little more billowy, a little more frightening. “Is there something on your mind?”

“I’m not gloomy,” Alex disapproves and comes to a halt, panting. They’ve been walking for a while and it seems that he’s reached his limit. Zach is not going to push it. “It’s just that… I need a break to breathe.”

He didn’t want to say this – he wanted to keep joking with Zach, but his body thinks otherwise. It’s the first time he misses the damn cane. 

“Do you think you’re fine going to the hotel? We’re still far from it.” Zach stares around, lets the breeze cool him. 

“Uh, yes. I mean, I guess? We won’t find out until we try, right?” Alex gazes at his boyfriend (what a weird label in his head) and, letting his impulses drive him, he hugs Zach in that unusual manner of his, all long, thin arms and sincere feelings.

Zach freezes, waits to see what follows, but Alex is waiting, too. It’s quiet again, for a moment. Until their hearts sync. Until Zach gets some courage on his side and turns around, hugging his boyfriend back. Alex sighs at the contact; he’s as hot as the sand below and Zach’s touch comes as a relief, just as the sea’s cold water brushing their feet from time to time.

“I don’t hate coming to the beach, you know. As long as you’re here, I don’t mind at all,” Alex says in a small voice, so uncharacteristic to him. 

Zach caresses his back, up-and-down motions. He stays longer on the neck, grasping and trying to never forget this feeling – the clouds above, so charged with energy predicting a storm, are akin to his soul. He’s always so conflicted when it comes to anything else but Alex that he’s ravaged by this perpetual sentiment.

“I know you don’t,” he says, also murmuring. “But I’d like to hear you repeat these same words in the morning, when you’re going to be aching all over.” Zach smirks, waits for a reaction that doesn’t seem to come.

“Make it worth it, then.”

A thunder resounds above.

Zach closes his eyes, swallows. He bites his lip, clenches his fingers. “You can’t say this and expect me to remain calm.” He’s staring into Alex’s eyes while saying it, voice trembling. 

“The sole purpose is that you don’t. You don’t remain calm.” 

Zach averts his eyes, thinking. He doesn’t know if Alex is blushing at all or if it’s just the heat messing with his milky skin. Without brooding it more, he does the thing he’s been meaning to do since they came. He picks Alex up (one hand behind his back, the other behind his legs) and says, “Put your arms around me or you’ll fall.”

Alex doesn’t consider this either. As much as he hates being helped, he allows the gesture. Partially because he’s aware he can’t finish the way to the hotel on his own; partially because it’s Zach holding him, like he always did.

Alex places his head on Zach’s left shoulder, kisses his neck lightly. He never wants this to end.

*

“Are you sure about this?” Zach is still worried, so he feels the need to ask. “It’s going to leave you breathless at first.”

Alex nods, reaches his hands for the wet towels. “If you don’t give me those damn towels right now… Zach, come on!” It sounds a lot like begging, just not the one he was waiting for. Well, not exactly.

Zach puts one big, blue towel drenched in cold water over Alex, pressing as much to his skin as he can. What he gets in response are a shiver and a curse. Placing smaller ones on his arms and legs, he goes as often as he can to change them. 

“You look like a tomato,” he comments late in the night, with Alex half asleep in the bed, Zach holding him from behind and whispering nothings in his ear, until he gets to this. “A tomato I’d like to devour.”

“Should I be worried?” Alex sleepily mumbles, cracking a smile Zach can’t see, but can hear in the way the vowels curve when being used. “Maybe I have to call for help like, ‘my boyfriend’s trying to eat me, do something’.”

Zach laughs, but it’s different from all the times earlier in the day. It’s reserved, bubbling out of his chest and gifted to the boy in his arms. It’s because of him and for him only.

“I don’t recommend trying this.” He tries being dark, scary, but ends up sounding like a bear in need of food after a long winter. Alex cackles. “Don’t laugh at your murderer. You’d be done in a movie.”

“Well, if someone doesn’t do me first, I guess I’ll be.” 

It takes Zach less than one second to hear it, five seconds to process it. He hides his smile in Alex’s juncture between the shoulder and neck. He exhales a good amount of air, feels Alex move more into him and crane the kissable skin under his chin.

Zach puts his fingers on his jaw, moves one to his lip where it gets sucked in heat and saliva and damn, his nerves are all alive. He wants to proceed. He wants to stop. He doesn’t know if it’s best to follow his desire or think about where they are, how Alex feels.

“Don’t overthink it, Dempsey. We’re not doing it yet,” Alex murmurs, but his words are kind, familiar. “I can’t even move with this burnt skin aching and itching.”

Zach checks the towel, feels it warm, and thus gets up to change it.

“Aren’t you tired, of taking care of me?” Alex dumbly asks and Zach ignores him at first, but he insists. “Seriously, with the PT and so on.”

“Never. I’ll never get tired of you,” he confesses, watches Alex’s irises clear for a moment and eyes widen, but then he shuts them, mumbles a word of understanding (a combination of ‘okay’ and ‘if you say so’ and ‘for now’). 

Zach kisses his forehead, climbs back into bed and enjoys the body next to him, the person he’s come to admire and like so much. “You mean so much to me, Alex… Don’t ever leave, please.”

He doesn’t get an answer, because Alex has somehow fallen asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> hah, i'm a little too sweet when it comes to what i love. let me know what you think in the comments and why not go by and talk to me on [ tumblr](https://aaeternus.tumblr.com/)?
> 
> alternative title for this: cockblocked by the sunburn.


End file.
